News You Can Use
1-31-99 1:39 am est: I've just finished transcribing Slab III and will be uploading it now. It's quite an interesting poem and I enjoy it. I love Slab poems because I can go back, read them later, and wonder what I was talking about.
1-30-99 5:46 pm est: I just placed The Elevator Ride online. It's a short I wrote about fifteen minutes ago, first in my head as a gag, then later on paper as something a bit more. Enjoy.
1-29-99 5:20 pm est: And so begins update weekend.
1-29-99 3:23 pm est: I just got out of a little meeting to go over a paper I wrote with my english professor. I got an A on it and he really didn't have anything to say about the paper so we just chatted about life in general. He's a "hip cat". I always wanted to call someone a "hip cat" and now I have.
1-28-99 11:42 pm est: There's nothing much to report right now.
1-27-99 9:00 pm est: February 1999's logo was received in the mail today. It is glorious. It is beautiful. It might make you cringe. It might make you smile. But it sure does promote the Xeno Xone and that's all that matters.
1-26-99 11:59 pm est: I'm sad to report that I haven't had any more suggestions for the title of the movie based on my life. The lines are still open.
1-25-99 11:25 am est: Us had this to say about what the movie based on Xeno's life should be called. (I am directly pasting the e-mail). I think the title of the movie should be:
"Disney's Xeno.. with an X"
Make sure to put 'Disney's' in the title so that people will think it's a Disney movie. Then when they take their kids to see this strangely R rated Disney movie... they'll be awestruck.
Then we can make an Usian(tm) Movie about monkies that drive robots and my life and stuff and it will be called:
"Contempory FreaK: the Usian Story"
And all the cultured people will go to see it. Then they will find out it has no culture but is really good and the critics will shorten the title to "The Usian Story", but they won't know how to pronounce it right, not that it will matter.
1-24-99 4:51 pm est: I got an e-mail which said, "My Grandparents live in florida, and I think that is perfectly ok, They didn't ask for the social security, blame that on the government not the old people. There are a lot of grandchildren to those old people who love them very much. Where are your grandparents? Why don't you decide to put them in the ground before you talk about other peoples grandparents." That is an exact quote so don't blame me for the fruity nature of it. Isn't it amusing how excited people get over a joke or two?
1-24-99 12:24 pm est: I've received the first suggestion for the title of the movie based on my life. It comes courtesy of Ben. He's chosen the interesting title of, "Tragedy and Triumph: The Jerry Lewis Story." Isn't that great? I encourage the rest of you to submit something along these lines.
1-23-99 3:08 pm est: I've just decided that there needs to be a movie made about my life. This will help to convey the spirit of the Xeno Xone to those illiterate masses of the world. I am waiting for you to e-mail me with possible titles to the movie. The best and brightest submissions will be placed on the news page with your name next to it.
1-23-99 12:56 pm est: Ben just said to me, "I just ejected a fist sized amount of snot from my nose."
1-22-99 12:01 am est: Happy Birthday Erica!
1-21-99 9:37 pm est: Instead of admitting I don't have the needed information to answer a question I will gladly lie to people. I believe that this reveals just what an ethical, moral, upstanding citizen I am. I am concerned with the common good and overall Big Brotherness that must exist. If people ask questions and are not greeted with solid answers they will come up with new questions. Revolt will follow. We know that's bad because the television tells us so.
1-20-99 10:51 pm est: Ben drank seven spritzers today! Can you believe that? Do you realize how much that is? Think about it. Oh, and if anyone has some Liz Phair mp3s which I do not have please send them my way. Thanks.
1-19-99 8:27 pm est: The fat man walks in the tall grass alone.
1-18-99 1:44 pm est: Today my physics professor said, "There are two types of energy. Energy you can convert to money and energy you can use to kill people." Then he laughed. After he stopped laughing he said, "I should stop laughing or you will think I am joking."
1-17-99 10:58 pm est: I just put the finishing touches on the main page which now loads a random banner. Thus far I've only got thirteen in the rotation but I'm working on getting more. Hit refresh and amuse yourself for hours.
1-16-99 9:36 pm est: That was a little bit amusing although somewhat of a letdown.
1-15-99 11:55 pm est: A slightly intoxicated Jay just showed up at my door and told me a little story. He then proceeded to pick up the can of air freshener sitting on my dresser, aim it directly into his nose, and fire. I laughed.
1-14-99 12:59 pm est: Lindsay quit her job. This is a good thing because Lindsay's talents were being wasted.
1-14-99 10:45 am est: What can I say, I'm a trendsetter. I do things, people follow. It's not my fault I'm such a visionary. I can't be blamed for the actions of my followers.
1-14-99 12:02 am est: I haven't received too many comments concerning the fact that Winona Ryder endorses the Xeno Xone. Come on people, I paid good money to get that lady to wear the Xeno Xone hat, the least you could do is write to me and tell me how appreciative you are to have a celebrity telling you what to like.
1-13-99 11:59 pm est: I'm still having trouble with writing the year. I've been writing "98" for a long time now. It gets to be habit and I can't seem to break it. Of course, I had all the dates in the news section saying 98 in January for about a week and a half before I noticed. I truly am my smartest reader.
1-13-99 11:43 am est: Whoa, it's Wednesday the 13th. We better be careful today, anything could happen.
1-12-99 10:10 pm est: I've got to read some more Hamlet tonight and so this will most likely be brief and of a non-philosophical nature. The top drawer of my desk does not close all the way without a shove. How symbolic is that? This Shalini fellow who had my box at the post office previously gets more mail than I do. I also received a Christmas card but they signed the wrong name. My name doesn't even sound like 'Rebecca'.
1-11-99 4:31 am est: I have no news to report. It's just a Monday. All Mondays seem to be the same. They're just silly.
1-10-99 12:59 pm est: So I was riding in a car yesterday and started discussing this required english class I am in with (applying a fictional name to protect identities here) Debbie Gibson. This is another example of why everything I say should be recorded but nevertheless I will attempt to paraphrase.
'There are no other engineers in this class. It's full of fools. You know the types of people, people with these idealistic views of the world.'
To which Debbie Gibson replied, 'You mean like dreams?'
'Yeah, those. Those need to be shattered.'
1-9-99 5:40 pm est: Well...let me tell you, the period that i have referred to as the eighties was a return to simplicity in american life. by this i mean that the majority of americans became dumber. In some cases their stupidity only increased by a small percentage while in other cases stupidity exploded exponentially. as evidence of this one needs only to take a look at the election of reagan to the highest office in the land. But this movement started a bit before 1980 as anyone who observes the mighty Jimmy Carter regime can see. (jimmy carter and jiminy cricket are just too similar and any man with such a name should never be allowed access to the button). The level of stupidity is increasing up to this day. this is caused by the continuing dominance of network television and the influx of mexicans. (any person who wants to come to the u.s. is very stupid. i'd take no running water over kathie lee gifford any day of the week.) that's all i have for now.
1-9-99 1:32 pm est: I define my life based on The Catcher in the Rye and Lavar Burton (that guy that hosted the Reading Rainbow).
1-8-99 10:18 pm est: I have a sure way to win any argument. First of all you should go start one. Go tell the next person you see that they are stupid or short or they smell bad. When they say "No I'm not." respond with, "Yes you are times infinity." No one cares argue with a multiplication by infinity. It is impossible to beat that.
1-8-99 2:58 pm est: This weekend I would have done some updating around this place if it hadn't been for the fact that I was given work to do. I'm also planning on making a few compact discs for some people. I'm just trying to figure out how I should ship these to people. I think that if I find a cardboard holder thing I can put that in an envelope and send out with a regular thirty-two cent stamp. (Remember when they were twenty-five cents?)
1-8-99 11:40 am est: Just try repeating this quote aloud in the room you currently reside in a few times, "I'm all sorts of just in the way right now." How strange is that sentence?
1-7-99 8:05 pm est: I've got a really interesting sentence floating around someplace that I need to find again.
1-6-99 10:32 pm est: Today, while attempting to nap, I was woken up. This may seem like a small detail and in retrospect it would be if not for the fact that this happened three times. All three of my naps have been interupted by others. I do get to sleep in tomorrow morning so I will hopefully make up my lost napping time.
1-6-99 11:25 am est: My floor really needs to be mopped.
1-5-99 12:49 pm est: Tuesdays have suddenly become very good days for me. I don't have anything to do on Tuesdays and so I can spend the majority of the day loafing about. This also means that Monday nights are good.
1-5-99 1:32 am est: Quote of the evening from the wonderful Miss Elizabeth Phair who I will one day know, "..I'm Liz Phair, He's Liz Phair, We're all Liz Phair..."
1-4-99 8:31 pm est: Currently I am looking at the cover of The Bhagavad-Gita. I've already browsed it for a few seconds. The binding has been bent and it will never lie flat again. The cover is currently aimed upward at an angle of roughly forty-five degrees. In the time it has taken me to write all this and upload it I could have had the entire book read. Oh, I've also got two cans of soda and they both say "Find Flik and Win" on them. Who is Flik?
1-4-99 4:34 pm est: And what gift item does the magical bag hold for you?
1-4-99 8:30 am est: Back to learning stuff I need to know, how exciting.
1-4-99 8:27 am est: Alright, now I've really got to get out of bed.
1-4-99 7:00 am est: Must get out of bed now and make ready.
1-3-99 8:03 pm est: I wonder what was going on at this time. I do not know. Let's take a guess, shall we?
1-2-98 7:32 pm est: The move has been completed and I am back working at the mill. I stay here and make sure that gravity doesn't suddenly stop working. It's an important and vital job. I just wish they'd get the network going so I didn't need to dial in.
1-2-9912:20 am est: This evening there was someone who had the nerve to say that cruelty to animals should be stopped. I tried to explain to her in a somewhat kind manner that this statement makes her a hypocrite. Her role in society causes the pollution of the planet which will eventually lead to the extinction of many, many animals. Her little automobile is going to kill more animals than some guy putting the smallest amount of shampoo in some rat's eye. If we're going to abuse animals and kill them we might as well go the whole nine. We've created a society that is going to cause the collapse of the ecosystem and mass extinction so why not get the ball rolling early?
1-1-99 9:01 pm est: If you've gotten to this point in the Xeno Xone you've most likely noticed I have updated the main logo. It may or may not last the entire month but I needed something new for today. If you got here without seeing it, go visit. This picture is a fan's hand. Fan's often send me things like this.
1-1-99 6:13 pm est: Have I mentioned how much I enjoy the movie 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'? I can't even begin to say enough good things about this movie. It's really a movie you have to experience because there is no way I can adequately describe any one of the numerous excellent scenes. For those of you who have seen the movie; How about that bath water Dr. Gomez was sitting in?
1-1-99 4:45 pm est: The struggle for the perfect logo is a difficult journey indeed. It involves delving deep within yourself and contemplating such large issues that mere humans would tremble with the very thought of them. I do this once a month. This month I'll be a bit late because the inspiration is just not taking root in my soul.
1-1-99 12:03 pm est: I was just flipping through the television channels and I stumbled across the MTV. They were doing some type of special program but it's interesting to note that they showed about a one second clip of the mighty Liz Phair. She's opening for Alanis Morisette and so that's why they mentioned her. The MTV does not normally mention decent artists unless there's some type of other gimmick artist involved as well.